Before Fly FM and Red104whatever existed, there was this cool new station called sHitz FM which played more current hits than that dreadful old people’s station Radio 4. From 2001 until today, they claimed that they’re still Malaysia’s no. 1 hit station. Well, probably most of their listeners are idiots and knowing that our country is full of them, their claim just might be true. Let me adjust that a bit. Malaysia’s no. 1 SHIT station, pwned by ASSTRO. Ah, much better. Now it all makes sense to me now!
I personally don’t listen to Malaysian radio that much, or any kind of radio for that matter so my brilliant opinion here might be biased as opposed to those who listen to this fucking station every single day especially during their commute time. Here’s why sHitz.fm hands down wins the shittiest radio station in Malaysia, according to a genius called me.
1. Record breaking song repetition in a day
Compared to other crappy Malaysian English stations, sHitz.fm are notorious for playing the same fucking songs over and over and over and over again. Their market is so freaking saturated that most of their idiotic listeners (apparently most of the goddamn Malaysian English speaking population) think it’s cool to tune in to sHitz.fm as some sort of coolness safe net. You don’t want to be caught with Radio Satu on your car stereo when someone entered your car right? What do you do? Tune in to 92 point fucking 9! People will instantly think, oh he’s so cool because he listens to sHitz.fm! Fuck y’all.
2. Association with Vandal
Who is this guy again? One day I accidentally tuned in to sHitz and this dude was giving a fucking public service announcement about not to vandalize public property to Malaysians. Great. All we need is a failed Canadian rapper who can’t even make it in own country then came to Malaysia and gives us good advice about vandalism, being his name is Vandal. The irony within the irony in that sentence is beyond ridiculous. And apparently, us Malaysians, who think everything coming out from Mat Salehs are cool, treated him like a fucking superstar. No wonder his shitty song Kay-El (oops I puked in my mouth a bit typing that) is a big hit among the locals, because there’s noone better to sing a song about Kuala Lumpur than a Mat Saleh right? I guess we feel more worthy of a human being?
3. Jason Lo
I’m sorry but I just fucking cannot stand this guy at all. The moment he opens his mouth I feel like instantly hanging myself. I think the only funny trick he got in his sleeves is making lame Malaysian accents. Okay, we get it, you’re half caucasian so that means you can make a total mockery of average Malaysians of whom are below you while the rest of us still find it funny as hell! I’m laughing so hard I’m gonna puke blood. Not enough with voicing over shitty PSAs and numerous ads on sHitz.fm, he did have his own talk show called Latte@8 a while ago, which is about half an hour full of nothing but Malaysian accent jokes and boring crowd who think that hanging out with Jason Lo is cool. Genius.
4. Lame ass ‘Gotcha’ calls
Gotcha calls when first introduced in the Morning Crew might be a good idea but after a while, it gets stale fast like your neighborhood Mamak’s curry. They’re just so fucking caught up with their own jokes sometimes, it’s pathetic. I don’t know why people still listen to this crap and best of all, the one who being pranked always kinda guessed who’s on the other line within few seconds. Who else speak good English with accents other than sHitz.fm people because apparently, the rest of us speak like Jason Lo’s ‘funny’ Malaysian accent all the time! That’s so duh right? So I hereby crowned Rudy & JJ of sHitz.fm morning crew, Jason Lo’s wannabe, and that’s a pretty disgusting title to have.
5. Stupid CSAs and Festive Reminders
I am so pissed hearing sHitz.fm pointless PSAs, CSAs and other seasonal bullshit since last year that I totally forgot how shitty they were . If memory served me right, the most ridiculously stupid seasonal reminders aired during Merdeka period. Jason as usual with his lame Malaysian accent jokes. Brilliant right? We all need to hear that from time to time, it’s like we’re nothing without someone make a mockery of the way Malaysians talk. It’s like the French making fun of their own accent! Uniquely Malaysia, I tell you. Unfortunately, I cannot elaborate more here because one, like I mentioned I forgot how pathetic it sounded like and two, I don’t listen to sHitz.fm anymore. Anyone with a transcript will be much appreciated.
There you go, folks. There might be a gazillion more reasons but this pretty much what I can come up with right now. Malaysians will still continue to listen to the shittiest radio station in Malaysia because apparently everyone think it’s kinda cool to do so. And no, listening to Fly FM, doesn’t make you any better because they’re just as shitty, only less stink.